Today marks seven weeks of fractured arm Hell and I still can’t get a full 7 - 8 hours sleep. It’s sleep 3 hours wake up in pain, walk the floor for an hour, fall into bed exhausted and wake up 2 hours later, still exhausted. A few nights or a week ago I gave in and swallowed five low dose aspirin between 10:30 and 11 PM. By 3 AM I woke up because I was dreaming about being in pain and because I had to pee. I got up, took 4 or 5 more aspirin, drank some water, lay down on bed, woke up at 5 AM in pain. No more aspirin; it doesn’t help, and neither did Tylenol BTW. Online I read of the wonders of recliner chairs and sleeping semi - upright in them. I scroll through Amazon’s offerings and Lazy Boys website and decide there’s no way I can take on more debt. I will have to grit and bear it.
Speaking of grit and gravel…there are things you can do with gravel. You can build a decent driveway or road, and skip the mandatory hot sticky blacktop upgrades every year or two. Another thing you can do with gravel: you can create a wondrous rock garden. As a kid, my neighbors had a rock garden. It was quite beautiful and unique, with moss and tiny pink flowers, built into a slope of land that formed the boundary line of their back yard. The rock garden was visible from the windows of their dining room – which extended out from their house and was three walls of windows. I spent a lot of time on my neighbors’ property, sometimes with their kids, and sometimes by myself. The Ferals ( I know I’m spelling their name wrong. On purpose) had a white birch tree in their back yard which I climbed all the time. I was proud that I alone could reach the very top of this tree and it fascinated me that the bark had paper thin layers that peeled off. High above the world in this tree I could watch and listen without being seen. With open arms, the trees were always there, giving me a safe place hidden among their leaves and this white birch, my favorite, was also home to a nest of blue Robin’s eggs.
The Ferals had two kids; a younger boy and a girl my age, both of whom came to my fifth or sixth birthday party. I don’t remember ever being in their house or even seeing their parents. Another thing that stands out to me: the Ferals had a beagle named Bootsy. Every evening and every morning when the weather permitted open windows I could hear Bootsy belt out her beagle howl, and I wondered if the Ferals named their dog Bootsy because her bark sounded like “boots.” No other dog barked like that, and to my 5- 6-7 year old mind it was the coolest thing I’d ever heard.
Eventually the Ferals moved away, and with them went Bootsy so I befriended Heidi, the dachshund next door who lived with the Joneses. I still climbed the tree in the yard formerly belonging to the Ferals. Young as I was, I knew what really mattered even then and that hasn’t changed. Being able to trust your own body and having autonomy over it is real important as I now recognize, when my left arm is stiff and weak and won’t support all my weight. Health is important at any age and the ability to access health support services when you need them –wherever you are and whatever you earn. At 68, I’m near the end of my time on this Earth and I know the same things that mattered to me 60 years ago are the same that matter now: the diversity of trees and flowers and wildlife; the birds that sing at night and the birds that sing in the morning. The neighborhood dogs, who in the 60’s mostly roamed free, were mild mannered, and who looked out for the neighborhood children. The limitless black sky that glittered with stars at night; our connection to all of it and to each other, and our responsibility to the same. Falling leaves gathered up in crunchy piles of gold, copper, and bronze: jumped in and scattered with screeching joy by generations of children. The gardens we grew for flowers and for food. Frosty winters and the welcoming homes where people gathered, warmed by strong coffee and strong love. The real riches of this world are not to be found in banks or stores or on Wall Street. Real riches are in nature for all of us– not to own or sell, but to share and use wisely, justly and sustainably, and to preserve for future generations of children to know the joy of trees and leaves and friendly dogs.
Comments